The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression?

My memory happened about five months ago when I arrived home from work, I had noticed my lawn had been cut. I had asked the young man who cut it for me not to cut it when I was not home (for safety reasons) and this happened to be the third time he had done so. I decided that I would pay him but no longer require his services. I drove around the corner to his house where his step father was sitting out on the porch. He called for the boy to come out and I gave him his money and told him I would no longer need his services. I also told him why and he said he forgot. As I was leaving his step father asked me where I got my truck (I had just purchased it the month before). I told him and he said it must have been a nice treat from my husband. I told him I was not married and to that he scoffed and said “you bought that all on your own? And you own that house up there on the hill? I thought for sure you had a man living there with you. I never heard of a woman doing that all by herself. My God! Well that’s a nice truck and if you ever need anything (creepy emphasis here) at all, you know there’s a man right here.”

This specific incident displayed sexism at its best. I thought it odd for him to think I, a hard working woman, could not buy a house and a car without the help of a man. He thought it odd for me to have done it. He acted like I was a freak of nature. This diminishes equity because he didn’t take into account my individual ability as a woman without a man. This incident , number one made me laugh at his ignorance, number two made me gag at his offer of manhood to assist me, and number three made me proud of my accomplishments. Did I feel a twinge of apprehension because I do want a husband one day? Nope. J

In order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity that man’s thinking about the capacity of women needs to change. And perhaps meeting me has started that process for him...