Relationship Reflection

Relationships are important to me because they help to make me the person I am. Having people around you that share a common ground and support you when needed, only helps you to be stronger. I currently have close relationships with my Mom and Dad and a few friends that I consider family. These relationships are positive in the ways that we all respect each other for who we are, we trust that we each have the best interest of the other in mind, and we encourage and offer support always in anything we set out to do. Developing these relationships was easy because we are all open and loving people. Maintaining  them took some work. You have to be intentional when in a relationship. It is never safe to assume anything.   

 Commuincation from all sides is important. Face to face conversations and speding time together are the ways in which these relationships have become what they are today. Aside from growing up in my parents home, I have developed a realtionship with them as an adult. Everyone is not perfect, so trust does get broken at times and things get said that should not, but that is where the relationship part comes in. Is it stronger than the hurt you feel? Could it ever go back to the way it was. Sure. Forgiveness. One key to all of my relationships is the need for constant grace. Like I said, people mess up. Who am I to shun them when they do?

Some of the special characteristics that exist in these relationships that make them a bit more like partnerships are that we believe the best about each other in every situation instead of assuming the worst. We give encoragement always and opinion when asked, and most of all we are for each other.

Having close relationships in my life, I feel have prepared me for being able to communicate with other people without feeling embarassed about what they might think about me or what not. This is a great tool for me to have as an early childhood educator because I can recognize the need for relationship among the families of my students. I am open to the families and very willing to learn about who they are and support them for that.Having these strong relationships in my life have also preapred me to look for the best in every family that I come across.

Quotes about Children

"If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall begin with the children." -Mohandes Ghandi, poltical and spiritual leader in India

"There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children." -Nelson Mandela, former president of South Africa

"Every child you encounter is a divine appointment." -Wess Stafford, President, Compassion International

"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see." -John W. Whitehead, founder, Rutherford Institute

 

Testing for Intelligence?

As an educator, I have commited myself to looking at "the whole child" and not just one aspect of the child in education. I consider the home environment and social, emotional, and mental aspects of the child in addition to and possibly as indicators of their success, or lack thereof, in school. I am not an advocate of testing children for intelligence unless it is something the parents desire for their child. I witness my preschoolers and kindergartners suffering because of requirements we have put on them to learn and show their learning through standardized testing. This goes against their natural development. I know that it is not standard for preschoolers and kindergarteners to take standardized tests but they do- in the form of local school assessments given at the beginning, middle, and end of the year towards a school improvement goal. They are graded on a rubric that the rest of the school (1st-3rd) uses. It sets them up. As far as testing in the elementary grades period- I don't agree with it. There are curriculums with worksheet after worksheet after worksheet given to the student and then at the end of a unit- an 8-14 page multiple choice unit test! The stresses of it on students, not to mention teachers to cram information down the students throat that they "should" know from previous grades, and for students to recall it all at a moments notice is not realistic. Then to measure the effectiveness of teachers based on the test scores? Ridiculous. I believe that in order to test a child's knowledge of a concept, alternative forms of assessment should be allowed, like book reports, or powerpoint presentations, or an artistic expression, etc. The pressure is too much surrounding standardized tests like Terra Nova for a third grader. 

I lived in South Korea for three years during my high school career and had it not been for the exceptional, supportive teachers and family I had- I would have had a hard time coping with the stress of my AP classes. I went to the military school however. Korean children experience something in school that makes my little nervousness about tests look like small potatoes. I did have the opportunity to visit many public schools through playing sports but I never got to experience how school was for them. I knew it was a serious thing as I walked through the market on Saturday and saw bus loads of children and students in uniform with bookbags walking to and fro. I learned that education is very important and college is even more important. Many Korean children attend public school as well as private school in order to get the skills necessary to score high on an entrance exam. "Higher education is a top priority for many Korean families and the percentage of university graduates is among the highest of any country in the world" (Cramming in Korea, 2011, p.19).  Many Korean children are in expensive private education with 88% of those being in elelmentary. These private establishments are referred to as "cram-schools", where students study and cram information pertinent to scoring high on tests. High test scores are desired and many parents send their children, elementary and high school alike, to study abroad- a very expensive feat which is one of the reasons for the low birth rate in South Korea. "Much of this exodus is driven by parents' desire to have their children become fluent in English, a highly prized ability in a country well aware of its need to compete in a globalized economy. But some seek to free their children of the pressure-cooker atmosphere of the Korean education system with its overwhelming emphasis on acing standardized, multiple choice tests" (Cramming in Korea, 2011, p.20).

If we differentiate instruction and tailor education to each student's needs so they can acheive success on their level, how can we expect them to do well on a standardized test that is just that- standard. We do not teach standard children. These tests do not include tailoring or differentiation. All students take the same test and are scored the same way. The idea and practice of standardized tests contradicts what we are encouraged to do inside the classroom. I understand we want all children to be successful, but when they get out into the real world- no one is going to make concessions for them. So are we setting them up for failure? Are we providing and allowing students to get accustomed to unrealistic expectations of assistance? People (society) will not go out of their way to make accommodations and modifications just so someone can feel successful.

Resources:
South Korean Education http://site.google.com/site/southkoreaneducation/
Branigan, W. ( 2011). Cramming in Korea. Development Asia (April- June p.19-23). Retrieved February 11,2013 from www.developmentasia.com

Consequences of Stress on Children's Development
The stress of a two year old boy that shaped his life forever

 That two year old boy had a mom and a dad who were never married and chose not to be together anymore. He lived with his mom in New York and his dad lived somewhere else. Both of his parents decided they needed to do something with him, as his mother couldn't afford to take care of him and his father didn't want to. So they decided that they would send him to Georgia to live with his father's adoptive parents, his grandparents, from whom his father had run away from because they had abused him. He was well aware of the environment in which he was sending his son into. So they put this two year old boy on a train by himself with his bag and sent him to Georgia. The pullman porter looked after him on the train until they arrived at his destination. Two men greeted the boy at the station, his Grand dad, whom he grew up to know as Dad, and a man named Red. He remembers going with them and them saying he had to go to the doctor. He remembers them putting him up on a metal table and struggling to get down. He heard them saying, "you've got to hold him down." and "he's strong." He remembers a doctor coming at him with what looked like a big long rounded syringe, then he felt pain. Twenty years later, this boy, now a man, asked his Grand dad about that day. His Grand dad was surprised the boy even remembered it. Grand dad explained that when they got him off the train the pullman porter told them that he could not go to the bathroom and his stomach was hurting. So they took him to the doctor for an enima.
To this day this little boy, now a man, is afraid to go the doctor. He will treat himself rather than risk going into the doctor's office. This boy, now a man, does not easily trust anyone. This happened in 1961, and the little boy is my father. The years of fear and abuse my father endured were nothing short of horrendous and as my father explained, he never dealt with it until he came to know Jesus Christ. A healing process had to take place of forgiving those who wronged you and telling them so- even if they never acknowledged the wrong they did. Growing up my father had a issue with trust and with self-esteem stemming from many more things that happened in his childhood. But the stress and trauma of being two and sent on a train by himself to an unknown place in unknown company and the stress of being held down against your will and  then feeling pain, was severe enough for him to remember even at the age of two.

Children in Sri Lanka, affected by war, violence, and abuse coupled with the recent natural disaster (Asian tsunami) has resulted in predictors of PTSD in children. This website shows evidence of the effects of cumulative stress on children's mental health with an article titled Family violence, war, and natural disasters: A study of the effect of extreme stress on children's mental health in Sri Lanka  http://www.biomedcentral.com
My best friend recently went on a mission trip to Sri Lanka. At the time she arrived the 25 year (1983-2009) civil war had only been declared over for about two years. There were armed guards walking around all over the place and it was scary and intimidating. She went with a medical team from Hand of Hope Mission to bring medical and dental care to the families of Sri Lanka. The children were malnutritioned and diseased, they had no clean water to drink and no access to healthcare or school. The families they helped lived in high rise buildings issued by the government with one room apartments. Down the middle of the building was a huge trash chute where all the trash went, but that is where it stayed. There were flies in the homes and the stench was tremendous. Disease was rampant. Most of the families and children beginning at age one or two worked in brick making plants to make a very small paycheck. The most alarming thing to my friend, who is also an early childhood educator, was that no one smiled- not even the children. And when she smiled at them they looked at her with the most puzzling look as if they had never seen a smile before. Maybe they hadn't.

Public Health: Immunizations
The public health topic of immunizations has always concerned me. Immunizations are important and have saved millions of infant lives since becoming a priority in the U.S.   In the military it is mandatory for the service member and his family to be current on all immunizations. I still have my shot record from birth. I remember growing up, I earned money as a babysitter for years. One family had a baby and they wanted me to watch him for them. They did inform me that the baby was not vaccinated and my mom said it would not be a good idea for me to watch him for both of our safety. This year and previous years I have had multiple students whose parents choose not to immunize them. The military issues a pardon for religious beliefs. I am always leery of these children because it never fails- they are always sick. Nasty thick green stuff coming out of their noses and hollow sunken eyes. It worries me. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about it. Maybe I am over reacting but I feel that if you are going to come to school, you should be immunized, as we all know that a classroom can be a cess pool of germs.

Other countries do not have the priviledge that we have to get vaccines to protect ourselves and our families. However, according to the World Health Organzation (WHO) , China has adopted their Expanded Programme on Immunization (EPI) which includes vaccines for six major diseases. Ninety perent of children receive EPI vaccines. China has expanded the EPI to include six more diseases. The Chinese government passed a law in 2005 for all vaccines to be given for free, but the challenge has been in making sure that township and village doctors get properly paid for administering the vaccines.

Knowing the importance of immunizations has made me a little paranoid as far as my classrom is concerned. I will change my practice in the future to include a plan to be intentional about keeping a clean and disinfected classroom. I will use this information in furthering my research on this topic of immunzations and the effects it has on not only children, but families, and communties.

I forgot to list my source for the information I gained on Cambodian births:
EthnoMed
http://ethnomed.org/clinical/pediatrics/cambodian-postpartum-practices

My Birthing Experience (as told to me by Mom)

• My parents had gone to Lamaze classes and read books in preparation for my arrival.
• My mom describes it as a normal pregnancy, no complications, but rapid weight gain, as she found out at 2 months.
• Sonogram showed I was a boy.
• Her contractions began, water never broke, Dad rushed her to the hospital
• Doc broke her water with what she describedas "a crochet hook looking thing", and contractions came faster and harder, she was breathing like she remembered from Lamaze class
• No epidural, episiotomy, 4 hours of labor
• Big push, I crowned, Dad turned away when he saw head full of hair and went to a ssist my mother with breathing
• Mom says "It felt like I was ripping in half."
• I came out eyes wide open and sucking my fist- and a girl. 7lbs 8oz.
• The nurses took me to do testing and Dad followed because he thought they were taking me away (Mom forgot to tell him about the testing and the toe-pricking which resulted in him getting mad at the nurses for hurting me when I screamed out in tears)
• Mom breastfed me with no problem, said "I was greedy" and I ate every two hours
• The hospital served a "Mother- Father" celebatory dinner for new parents
• Mom stayed in hospital with me for three days

I chose this example because I wanted to interview my mom and it was fun to hear her relive it and tell me in her own words. Since 1983, hospital policies have changed tremendously and having babies seems more like a factory process, in-out-ship home. My mom, having had three children, said that each time was a different experience in the hospitals becasue of changing rules.  Not having had any children of my own, I feel that the birthing experience, whether positive or negative, could have a on effect on the baby coming into the world. I was born with no complications into a loving and peaceful environment with parents who welcomed me and nurses who took care of me. This may not be the case for others. I believe culture (belief systems, family values, etc) has an effect on development no matter where you are from. Take a look at the possible birthing experience of a Cambodian baby...

Cambodian Birthing Experience (based on cultural practices)

• No hospital (too expensive and wrong social status)
• Traditional Birthing Attendants (midwives) assist the mother in the home becausetheir service is cheap and they are locally available.
• Baby is born and given to someone else to breast feed and care for it for the first full month while the mother undergoes the postpartum traditional practice of healing called Sor Sai Karchey
• Cambodians hold the belief that a woman's body is cold after giving birth so she undergoes a heating process to heat up the body and prevent further cooling or deterioration.
•  For one month after birth the mother will lie on a bamboo bed with a constant fire underneath, no bathing during this time.
• This process known as "roasting" is believed to prevent illness.
• The mother is told to sit on a heated rock every morning for three weeks after giving birth to prevent the uterus from coming out. it is also common to place a heated rock on the abdomen to make the uterus shrink and prevent sagging of the abdomen later.
• Steaming is also recommended for removing impurities in the mothers body. (like sitting in a sauna)
• the mother is to eat only spicy foods.

This is very different from my birthing experience. A lot of cultural beliefs are included in the birth of this Cambodian baby, which are said to help the mother heal after giving birth. Midwives are the main source for delivering babies in the home. In the U.S. we can choose to have a midwife help deliver in our homes, in the hospital, or in a birthing center. The differences are vast but the one similarity I feel is that no matter how different the practices, cultures, traditions, are- each feels they are doing what is best for the mother and child based on years and years of practice.